funny
Bye-Bye Poopies!
Might as well just poop in the river!
Figurative Language Lesson #36
This conversation took place this morning while I was up cooking french toast:
Spawn [approaching the kitchen]: Where are the cinnamon rolls?
Me: Over here.
Spawn: Where’s the one with my name on it?
Me: There aren’t any names on them. What are you talking about?
Spawn: Dad said there’s a cinnamon roll out here with my name on it.
Me explaining what the difference is between literal and figurative language.
He eats cinnamon rolls like other people eat muffins — top down.
I Want A Pink Thingamajig
So I found out about this new toy website today. You know, the kind of toys you don’t want your kid to find on Sunday morning when he gets up before you cuz you’re sleeping in and don’t want him to ask what it is but when he does you certaintly don’t want daddy to tell him it’s mommy’s as a total cop out so mommy then has to explain that it’s something for grownups and DON’T TOUCH IT!!
Anyway. So I pulled up this website on the iPhone on the way home from work. Well, you know how when you go to Safari the next time and the last site you viewed comes up? At dinner I was asked to look up something on the Internet and brought up Safari on the phone while father-in-law looked over my shoulder.
There was this website zoomed in on the last product I was checking out in all its glorious beauty.
I couldn’t get off that page fast enough. I’m hoping it looked to him like a pink USB thumb drive.
UPDATE: This is the image that was seen. NSFW you have been warned. (I was less concerned about the pink thing and more about the two rosebud-topped things it’s nestled between.)
Jello Nipples
My favorite thing about eating sugar-free Jello? Pulling back the foil cap and finding the perfect little jello nipple underneath! How does it get there? The jello isn’t touching the foil in any way and the surface of the jello is perfectly smooth. Where did the nipple come from? Wherever it comes from, it tastes delicious.
Jello Nipple
Is It Wrong That I Laughed?
Spawn #1 (5 years old) was playing with a couple of rubber balls – throwing them up the stairs, tossing them around the basement, generally being very silly. When he’s silly he babbles to himself – diarrhea of the mouth – nonstop, constant gibberish I am usually quite good at tuning out. However, he said something that caught my attention:
Him: [blah blah] balls [blah blah] face
Me: What did you just say?
Him: I love these balls in my face!
I couldn’t stop laughing. Was that wrong of me?
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Recent Creaminess
Other’s Recent Creaminess
Creamy Bits
- Wow so working late on a Friday isn't bad enough I have to deal with effing twins traffic?
- @geardaddie I have that already but it's lacking that certain je ne se quois.
- I think I might need this: www.omnigroup.com/products/omnifocus" class="twitter-link">http://www.omnigroup.com/products/omnifocus/